Random Crack old
by Gleamykins
Summary: I wrote this so long ago... I had a huge sugar rush. I can't explain the plot because It confuses me... yeah... uh... yeah. :)


I don't own Pokemon, if you can even call this pokemon, it is complete crack.

And then mr mime was angry at mr. mime his wife (male and female mr mimes) so he changed his name to mr mine and blew her up! KAPOW! but nidoking did not like that so he killed them both! So then he used the wrong attack, he used belly drum! and mr mime lived, but nidoking was weak and killed himself. So as the day went on, more and more pokemon died. But this time it wasnt wimpy fainting! it was real, hardcore DEATH. But no one liked that but where are the trainers? you may be asking... WRONG! Great Grandpoppy, mime killed the trainers looongggggggg ago... before anyone was aware of no one cared because The trainer wass meeeeaaaaannnnnn he never played with his pokemon... do you know of this trainer? Yes, it is Ash ketchum! good job! And as the world slowly dissolved (gyrados got a hold of some acid) and now hoppip is crying b/c she didnt get to say good night to her daddy and mommy... but that is fine b.c no one likes hoppip. But when she was going to say good night, the time was changed on the system setting! so it was now morning and so time went forward! time travel is what we all want, right? WRONG the time travel has shattered the hearts of many, that is why we no longer are allowed to. Law forbids it... Oh no! But dont be allarmed, we dont think you can time travel anymore b/c in the great failure of 1906 a man in san fransisco time traveled and came back with a t-rex. the tyranasaurus rex then stomped around, caused the earthquake and was killed. dont beleive me? too bad! And the t-rex's name was jason. He has cursed the name so ppl named jason are eternally mental retards. YAY! But fear not, for our good friend pikachu is here to save the day! But pikachu started farting b/c he ate too much bean dip, which is never a good idea. But you know whatt? Pikachu has electric farts! now, his farts are so amazing even koffings and weezings from all over come to learn how to fart so well. So they learned. Eat. More. Bean. Dip.  
And so, bean dip became very popular in many regions. Bean Dip became so great that pikachu became a hero. But then the evil Meganium found Ash and brought n=him to life. Ash became famous for pikachu's great deed. But Ash lied and then the pokemon tv show lied to millions of children. And then Pikachu was forever riuned by evil Ash. But days turned to weeks, weeks to months, month to years and the years came and went. no one know of Ash's lie... until now. You see, I went through t hte pokemon archives and found a folder that had been written hastily by little pikachu... He wrote it all down. But there were lies there too! Raikou, the legendary dog of electric type could still tell... Electric to electric, and a dog against a pika... there was no chance pikachu could get away... So we spoke w/ the unowns. They said "HeLies" When we asked about pikachu... So further we go, but where do the mr/s. mime, nidoking and all the others fit into this? WEll you see, nidoking has been a terrible leader for a long time. He was greedy and stupid. And sexist. But Mr. Mime, his cook was enraged with the choices the king made, he thought that he could do better. But mr. mime was even more stupid than nidoking so he just kept on putting berries in the apriblender, which any trainer can do. But oh well, mr. mimes are stupid. And you, my friend, are the only one who can stop him! But no! How can this be? I thought mr mime died in the first paragraph. WRONG! mr mine with an n died. mr mine was stupid, but not that stupid. Y'see, there are many mr mimes out htere. But this one is known for his name! his name is lovely, his name is actually lovely. it says right there! Lovely! Dont you see? now hush, you havent any reason to call him anything else! so silence fool! And this has nothing to do with any absols... They dont interfere with royalty... Y'see, sire,I dont think any dog (or pkmn that look like dogs), with the exception of my pokemon that i have caught. no wild dogs play any role in this stupid heiarchy! They rule in their own ways! Through a pack!  
Barking, Snarling, and tons of other doglike sounds shall rein freely over your Pathetic little world! A lone howl is ripped out of a level two eevee as he Lunges towards a rattatta. Victory! HE has caught it. Plop onto the kill pile thingy. They would need to battle it so that the fighters could level up! And then they will over through the stupid royal idiots! But wait! There is a missing piece to this! Where are these royals staying? Simple. Everywhere! Anywhere that you can find pokemon, there is a leech trying to steal info to give it to the king! BUt what will the nidoking do with such information? I have no clue. Oh wow, you thought that I was a trainer? No, you see, I am a Espeon, And although you have looked down on our kind, we are actually cats! and eevee has united the cats with the dogs through his evoulutions! And Cats shall winn! hahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha ! But wait! What did I say earlier? Hahahahahahaha, you see,it was all a lie! there have been no pov changes! i just lied so you would listen! But now that you have begun to read you are hookede! It may be you, but it is me! And now You will see how the story continues!  
So then the big dog pokemon were being lazy fart fests! and then arkanine came and POW! Sudden death! He pwned! but no, we had our ways too! Shinx came and ka-pow! Instant death! Shinx never got along with arcanine, maybe becasue fire electric can never be friends. HAHAHAHA! dont make me laugh, have you met entei and raikou? Bffls! And they are such good friends that they are both considered males and suicune is considered female b/c they hate her so much they have a crush on her. oh no! but suicune pwns them! And she wont hang out with some crazy bois! oh noooooo! wait, waht was I talking about? hahaha idek! thats hilarious! Well whatever it was, I wil l now tell you about the battle plan,... So there is some place called a pc box. and then we all will get caught. but when in the pc, so will the royal dudes and then yayayay! we wil kill them! and throw them out of the pc box b4 they can regenerate health! yes! we shall! And then what will you do? Well once they are gone I will rule over all of pokemon! But no! how can this be? oh, you thought that we were the good guys? my mmy, how many lies have i fed to you? no, I will not lie anymore. Confession time, I did kill little billy... I thought that he was a trainer's pet or something... turns out that he was wild... And it is illegal to just kill wild pokemon if your wild,... i am also to blame for being obsessed with hetalia but who can blame me? its sooo funny! nya nya... oh and i may be related to a shiny espeon or two... but that is okay becasu no one likes shineys! rawrrrrr! nya nya nya nya! oh and i hate nyan cat... srysly pooping rainbows, forever disgracing my family of cats... sob... and i also killed ash... they lied and in return i lied and yeah... i lied about more stuff its just that i am a bit erm... lazy... far too lazy to actually type out like ten words. i have never dont that many! usually two words... at most... so ha!  
But really sire, this doesnt make sense... if it did i might continue to read but it doesnt! so why shall i continue to read and write on... i cant stop... something is not right as to why I am so eager as to write this simple, unimportant document. almost as if mind control is involved... no, thats not possible...mind control isnt... OH MAH LORD! i am an espeon... gosh... physic type pokemon... we can sooo take u down... hahahahahaha! any who, i will now give this journal to italy, who will give a basic analasys of the situation.  
PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA!1!  
that said, i can now continue... and so back to the story...and now the world is nearing its end! oh wait nvm... that was just waht some hobo said... hahaha you believed me for a moment! And now I shall have my revenge and when I do, not a single pokemon will even threaten to disobey the rules that I lay out. I will make the world work how I like! And that is final! No one shall ever disobey me again! I shall have free rein over all that I want! no one has ever listened before, but they will now! No one will ignore me! I will-  
Honey, its time for bed sweetheart... Oh my, are you writing in your diary? I am so sorry to have disturbed you. But I'm sure it can wait until morning... Please go to sleep... Tomorrow we go on a picnic with the Leafeon family!  
Urk... mum is gone... gosh I wish she didnt inturrupt me when I'm writing... Add that to my list of rules... "Do not inturrupt me when I am writing" That is a great rule..Someday I will get complimented for that, and everyone will want to be my friend.  
Good morning... I have to go train today... back in a bit  
BACK!  
I absolutely hate having to train! It wastes my time! grr... So I hope that you are happy! Well what I was going to say is I love being in the party that fights water type... so much fun! The water is so much fun to fight in... It is so calming... I wish I was a vaporeon... how lovely it must be... water is forever amazing... I love it... it is so much fun to splash around... someday i will become a voporeon an-  
Thats not possible! you are an espeon... a lowly espeon... I am a glacion... rather close to vaporeon yes... but still not a water type... maybe in a future life you will be a-  
go away! i hate your mockery! and now there is a lot of people laughing at me because of you! i hate when you humiliate me and make me look so stupid! i hope you can just be quiet!  
Honey, that is no way to talk to another guest at this picnic! You need to stop saying you hate stuff! Goodness gracious, what if you said you hated someone and then they died and the last thing you said was that you hate them, even though you dont!? That must feel terrible!  
Uh huh, i bet it does feel soooo bad... *sarcasm*  
Wait a second! How are you ppl able to write in my diar- i mean journal!?/1! How can you grab a hold of it, I have the pen and book, yet your writing gets into it! how!  
Mind control silly, we control u to give it to us and we write, like we just did, then we give it to you and you dont seem to remember...but that is okay.  
yeah... WAIT A MINUTE!1! that makes no sense!and the whole mind control isnt possible! wait it is, i talked about mind control earlier, and i have used mc before... yep yep... but the world is full of evil jerks who have no life so that kinda stinks... but i really couldnt care less! well i could... but i dont want to ... meeah... kah kah kah! but and not to mention how evil you can be! i strongly dislike how mean you buttheads are.  
well thats good. thank you for sharing your opinions with us. b/c we all care SOOO much... but we really couldn't care less so shut up please.  
that is so mean, i am very mad at you now! go away! go bye bye! cya later loser!  
i am now back home, where i belong. and where no meanie faces can be jerkheads to me! i am far too cool for them!

they are now throwing rocks at my window and NOOOOoooooooo! they have destroyed me! i am dying!  
nooooo  
stupid espeon, thinks that this is her notebook. but it belongs to FARTfest the great eevee who will probably have the misfortune of having to evolve into flareon. i feel sorry for the poor eevee... well anywho, I probably should just finish writing it in this, then buy the same book and give it to FARTfest... that'll do. but still, i dont think that we should lie and give FARTfest the wrong notebook.  
i guess im right... i will just rip out all these pages and glue them into my own notebook and give this back to FARTfest. he will be very happy, i am sure. ohhhh nooooooooooooooooooooo

what if... oh no! i have pressed down too hard wiff mah pencil and now there are the words dented into the next few ppages! FARTfest isa sure to see iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt tttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ttttt!

but still i don't think that he likes me as is... oh well. im sure that he will like me sooner or later. and even if he doesn't i am positive that he will be sad at my funeral.

Hello, welcome to page one of my new journal, as you can see i also got one of those fat pens and it is very thick. I am finding it hard to write stuff and have it still be legible... anywho, i think that those meanie heads will stop laughing at me and i can finally give FARTfest's diary back to him.

Hello, it is Cinderella here, I am a chikorita female... you see, i dont think that espeon knows that I gave this notebook to her and used an experiance share on it... so we have two notebooks and they are about experiances so whatever she writes, i see. whatever i write... she doesnt see. :) but that is actually not possible, but i cheated the system and yeah i am soooo cool. but anyways, i am about to give this notebook to butterfree for her birthday! i know she will love it because well... we can learn so much about espeon it is GREAT! so all of the angry chibis walked into ur room and ate ur soul. and then it turned out it was claude cosplaying as a chibi but then lots of little chihuahuas came and ate ur face! but how r u reading this is ur face is ripped off? im not talking to you. you just happened to stumble across this secret document. so yeah. i guess that i didnt eat ur face... or soul. well i will. i will eat ur face. and i will enjoy it. yeesh. i will then eat ur hands. hands taste goood. but u have to wash them before preparing or u may catch diceases! but dont you worry dear. i am so beautiful and you are too, darling. dont worry. but still. i will now carry on with dinner preparations. yesh it was fantastical. and i ate many rittre rice barrs. Onigiri! yayayayayayy i love onigiri even tho in heta oni they werent real! rawr... wait im a poke mon i shouldnt know hetaoni!

oh great... some stupid ice cream cone... trying to fight me. I ran away. I don't want to waste my time on some stupid flying ICE CREAM CONE! grr... and i dont like when ppl steal pokeballs. and then there was that guy. and he was eeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvi iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll lll I am telling you, dont trust him. ever!  
alsdjkljgl;ksdf;dlkjgad  
num num num num num num num num num num num num yummy yummy onigiri. BUt still, I think that oran berries taste wayyyy better. It is a fact. Now, go on. Get me food, ash.

Hallo, espeon here. I haven't posted anything in my journal for a while. so I am back

DAy  
today... I was sad very very sad. so sad that a lot of people died. or fainted. that is what we pokemon do. we kill each other, then come back from the dead. like a baws. yup yup. and then stuff happens. it is a way of life, no hatin' hater. So please no more talking, i am soooo busy it's not even funny. So please, do go away, I am begging of you. :( So please just go away and leave me alone. Rahr rahr. Rahr rahr. rahr rahr rahr rahr rahr rahr rahr rhar OH MY GOSH! LEAVE ALREADY!

As much as l love flying monkeys, that is a bad look.A really bad look.

A/N: OKAY, DON'T ASK. THAT WAS... OH GAWD WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS? I can't follow it, and I was the one who wrote it.  
O-O I'm not going to finish this, i dont understand it. I only wrote this when on sugar rushes and stuff *just had two cups of coffee * yeah, caffine too. oh man, now my friend wants to chat. SOUNDS FUNNNNNNN! FWAFWAFWAP *floats away on a purple cat *  
-Gleamykins  
oh, und I don't know why I'm posting this.


End file.
